


See Saw

by betaaquarii



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, hyerim nation, spoiler alert hyejoo misses yerim haha, this is kinda sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:16:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23979607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/betaaquarii/pseuds/betaaquarii
Summary: Hyejoo slams her hand on the floor - searching, searching - got it. The alarm shuts off, and there's silence. The deep kind of quiet - white and invisible, thick and tangible - that deep kind of quiet, the kind that fills your bones. Closes her eyes again, opens them, closes them, sighs.It’s gonna be a long day.
Relationships: Choi Yerim | Choerry & Son Hyejoo | Olivia Hye, Choi Yerim | Choerry/Son Hyejoo | Olivia Hye
Comments: 10
Kudos: 53





	See Saw

Hyejoo slams her hand on the floor - searching, searching - got it. The alarm shuts off, and there's silence. The deep kind of quiet - white and invisible, thick and tangible - that deep kind of quiet, the kind that fills your bones. Closes her eyes again, opens them, closes them, sighs. 

It’s gonna be a long day.

\--

It’s a long day.

There’s no coffee in the coffee pot when Hyejoo walks downstairs, but that’s alright, because there’s never been any coffee in the coffee pot, and she doesn’t like coffee anyways. One hand, and the fridge creaks open, and - there’s the real problem. Out of orange juice. Who keeps drinking all the damn orange juice? 

Oh, it’s her. 

An egg sizzles in the pan, and the aroma wafts up to her nose - how do you describe the smell of an egg? Egglike, Hyejoo muses, or maybe not egglike at all. Maybe something else out there that smells like egg, but we just haven’t found it yet. Maybe like trying to explain chicken to a lifelong vegan - right, isn’t Yeojin going vegan? Ah, but she’s just in middle school, that’s a trend these days… 

The egg is done, half-eaten, bright in the light that streams through the window. It’s a big window, and it’s a sunny day - Hyejoo blinks, squints, scrunches her nose, scratches it. The sunlight is kind of itchy, and she’s not sensitive, just doesn’t get out much. The last park excursion was in… April, with the pretty flowers and the fresh grass smell and the promise of summer love and fragrant blooms.

It’s May, now. Not too much different; the flowers are still pretty, and the grass is still fresh, but summer is a big, fat liar and now it’s just getting hot. And her egg is getting cold.

The rest of the egg goes in the trash. Spring Hyejoo tells Almost-Summer-Hyejoo that all food is good food. Almost-Summer-Hyejoo bites her tongue before almost saying that she’s lost her appetite. Gureum hasn’t, sniffs the trash, eats the egg. Gureum never changes. Hyejoo does.

\--

It’s a long day, but it hasn’t even started yet.

10:00 is time for work. Time to sit in the big chair and stare at a screen and type weird letters and hey, what’s on the news today? Scandals, scandals, politics, but that’s just scandals… ah, but it’s 11:00. Damn it. Hyejoo glazes over, lets the corporate mindset take control - just keep working, working, working… 

Keyboard clicking ceases, because there’s purple in Hyejoo’s vision. She hates purple. Maybe doesn’t hate, maybe I don’t hate it. Ah, but nobody puts purple in my room. Nobody has for seconds, minutes, hours, days, months - has it been months?

Hyejoo blinks at the screen, but doesn’t squint, doesn’t scrunch her nose, because unlike the sun, you can’t feel the light from the screen. Cold, impassive, blue - blue is a cold color. Purple isn’t blue though. Maybe, almost, because purple is made from red and blue, but it has that warmth. Red warmth. 

Warm, passionate, red - red is the color of love. Hyejoo isn’t a fan of red, either.

But where’s the purple coming from? It’s a box in the corner of her screen - tiny, square, somewhat inviting. It is inviting, it’s an invitation. Look at all these photos! One year ago from today! 365 days into the past!

One year. 365 days. Hyejoo isn’t a number person. And Hyejoo hates looking back. The numbers are warm though - purple warm. Red warm. Love warm. The kind of warmth that you might get from a pretty smile. Do you really want it, though?

Hyejoo wants it. Enough to click on the box, at least. Take the time machine back, in the little apartment with the big chair and the half-eaten egg and Gureum who never changes and Hyejoo who does. Clicks the box and closes her eyes, almost opens them, doesn’t open them - does. 

It’s beautiful. Pretty flowers and the smell of fresh grass and real summer love and fragrant blooms. And purple. Hyejoo lets the picture take her back to purple, and she doesn’t hate it, she’s just tired. Cold in the apartment, even with the sun shining through the window. Dark at the computer, even with all the lights on. Slept eight hours. Still tired, because isn’t her apartment every shade of grey and white and blue and black except purple?

Purple everywhere, in the picture. The flowers, the sky, even the grass, almost, because grass after rain kind of reflects light, doesn’t it? Or maybe it doesn’t, maybe that’s just my imagination. Maybe the egg was bad this morning. Maybe the screen is hurting my eyes, maybe I’m stupid.

Maybe I miss her.

\--

It’s been the most beautiful day.

Sunset and purple rain. Hyejoo laughs, because it’s a stupid thing to take a picture at sunset. Sunset is pretty, but it’s terrible lighting. Okay, maybe it’s not so stupid. Ah, just use the flash. Although, Hyejoo knows it doesn’t really need the flash - looks at the girl holding her phone out excitedly, and decides that she’d look pretty even in bad lighting.

She’d been pestering Hyejoo for a photo all day. Even in the arcade, even at the pier, even now, in the park - old kiddie park that she found by chance off the side of the road. Not even a place to sightsee, but she still wants a picture, because why? 

Because, she smiles, don’t you want to remember this? Don’t you want to remember us? For when we get old and have enough cats to rival Hyunjin and Gureum is fat and we have no teeth, and we can look back and see that we did have teeth, and it’ll be the most beautiful thing. That’s why. I want to remember. I want to see. Look at all the purple, isn’t it the most beautiful thing? 

She smiles, and Hyejoo knows, it’s the most beautiful thing. She’s the most beautiful thing. So Hyejoo takes the phone, and takes the photo, and they’re smiling in the stupid old kiddie park with warm, warm purple. Warm hands, warm smiles, warm love, warm purple.

Maybe I’m stupid. Maybe that’s okay. Maybe we can be stupid together, until we have too many cats and Gureum is fat and we have no teeth. Ah, but your smile will still be beautiful without teeth. And that’s why I’m going to stay. Because you’re beautiful and I’m stupid and it isn’t maybe, I’m just in love.

\--

Hyejoo has long since closed the box. Doesn’t need another picture, didn’t even need another moment with the one picture - just a second is enough. A second, and blinding purple, and she’s reeling, far back, back before she sat in the chair, before Gureum ate the egg, before she even made it. 

Back in bed again, and there's silence. The deep kind of quiet - white and invisible, thick and tangible - that deep kind of quiet, the kind that fills your bones. Closes her eyes again, keeps them closed, because they’re hot, they sting, they’re overflowing. It’s too much. Too much warmth, too much red in her purple, too much love and nowhere to put it. No more maybe. Never again, because she knows. Hyejoo knows. The egg wasn’t bad. Screen didn’t hurt my eyes. I’m not stupid - no, yes I am, because - 

I miss her. 

\--

(It’s been a long day.)

**Author's Note:**

> i literally just wrote this because i was so fed up with writing my history review sheet :) the american revolution is exhausting,,, anyways i would really really really appreciate any comments because! i want to maybe get back into writing since its quarantine and hyerim nation (population: 5 <3) is so severely underserved and starved for content and comments would really! help me improve


End file.
